Saturday, 9 July 2016

Our House Girl

"Ekene!!!!!"  "sir!!!!!"  "Where are you?!!!!!"  "sir!!!!!  I'm in the parlour!!!!!!  I am getting the children prepared for school!!!!!"  "I have prepared "ukpo ogede and tea" for breakfast for them!!!!!"  "Okwukwe is at the table, she's eating "ukpo ogede" and drinking tea!!!!!  Oluoma is putting her school sandals on!!!!!  The last born Ah - boy, I am helping him to button up his shirt and tuck it in his trousers!!!!!"  "Mama Okwukwe!!!!!  You have seen it!!!!!  You are here, Ekene that is not much older than you, is taking care of your children, and you are still sleeping!!!!!"  "Papa Oluoma!!!  I don't blame you.  This is Ekene you went to bring back from the village, and your mother gave her to you as your house girl!!!!!"  "Mama Okwukwe, if you mention my mother's name again, you see yourself!!!!!"  "Papa Oluoma, I am keeping quiet for you because I am your wife.  Let me go and take my shower and prepare for work.  I don't have your time."  "Ma Okwukwe!!!!!  Be there, let Ekene be doing your job!!!!!"  "Papa Oluom, I have heard you, I am your wife."  "sir!!!!!  The children have finished having their breakfast.  Dri - ver is taking them to school.  I have given them their lunch money.  They don't have homework, sir!!!!!"  "Madam, good morning."  "Ekene, good morning.  What are the children having for lunch when they come back from school?  Because I'm already late for work."  "Madam, they will eat garri and soup for lunch."  "Okay.  Thank you.  I am going to work.  Bye - bye."

In the kitchen:

"What did you prepare for breakfast, darling."  "sir, I prepared buttered bread and tea, you may have 'okpa' by the side."  "This is why I talk about you, Ekene.  You are wife material.  That reminds me, those clothes I bought for you from my last travel, where are they?"  "sir, I am wearing one of them."

In the bedroom:

"sir, Madam will catch us one day ooooo."  "That stubborn woman, she doesn't know she's my wife."  "If you say so, sir."  

In the bathroom:

"Ekene, Ekene, I have called you many times, what is wrong with you?  You don't look well!!!!!"  "Madam, I am pregnant by sir."  "You are very funny."  "Madam, I'm serious."  "I said it, Papa Oluoma has killed me!!!!!  You useless man, where are you?!!!!!"  "Mama Okwukwe, why are you shouting??!!!!"  "Ekene says, she's pregnant."  "Hahahaha.  Darling Ekene, congratulations my dear wife." 

In the parlour:

"Mummy, wake up, please wake up."  "Mama Okwukwe, thank God you've woken up from your faint because Ekene is my wife."  "Papa Oluoma, this one I'm hearing your voice from the junction distance, what is happening?  Children, what is happening?"  "Our House Girl is pregnant."